Tuesday, June 04, 2013

you + me {blended families}

This post has been on my heart for several weeks.  Writing about being a blended family isn't easy, it's a delicate balance.  There is no easy way to raise a child who has two sets of imperfect parents.  No handbook is given on how to deal with the tears my daughter weeps as her brother drives away.  

“The weaknesses, failures, and sins of our family are the places where we learn that we need grace too. It is there, in those dark mercies, that God teaches us to be humbly dependent. It is there that He draws near to us and sweetly reveals His grace. Paul's suffering teaches us to reinterpret our thorn. Instead of seeing it as a curse, we are to see it as the very thing that keeps us "pinned close to the Lord.” 
― Elyse FitzpatrickGive Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus
Motherhood has left me in tears countless times.  Often times I second guess if I am doing enough, hovering too much, giving enough grace and the list goes on.  Ladies, we are under attack.   Just think about what things will  be done in the kingdom when our families raise up Jesus loving, passionate children who are eager to make a difference in the world.  To love others and bring them into a relationship with our Father.  Think about the power that could come of two sets of God loving parents raising a child, putting aside their differences to bring up the next generation to stir up a revival.  No wonder we're under attack.  

As I walk through this journey  I cling to His truth and seek wisdom of those who have been on this journey longer then me.  Motherhood is the most humbling experiences one can ever experience.  To keep the rough days light hearted and full of truth I remind myself that if I were the "perfect parent" then my kids would not understand their need for a Savior.  And my kids will be fully aware of their need for Him.
“Believe that God is strong enough to save your children, no matter how you fail.”  
― Elyse FitzpatrickGive Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus
Today I want to share some thoughts that I don't want to forget as a mother to a child who doesn't share any of my genetics, but he carries half of my heart with him.  For the next thirteen years I want to:

  • Show him Jesus in how I respond to him and the difficulties that come with co-parenting. To continually be praying for his mom and step dad as they parent him and for peace between us.  
  • Grow in trust that my heavenly Father has this under control. God loves Morgan even more than we do. Though we often feel helpless and like we have very little influence, I want to focus more on the influence that we do have and make the most of those opportunities.  
  • Continue to draw closer in my relationship with my Father so that His love and grace overflows from me to everyone around me; including Morgan, his mom and step dad.
  • Remind Morgan that we are not always right and neither are his other set of parents, but to always be honest with him.  Our goal is to live as God wants us to live. 
  • Show him that every decision we make should be tested against the Bible and what God would want for us. 
  • Try very hard to never talk about his mom and step dad in front of him or say anything negative about them in front of Morgan, even tough it is hard at times.  Words that leave our mouth today will make an impact forever on his little heart. 
  • Pray with and for him daily. Reminding him daily that God loves him regardless of his behavior and He wants to talk to him daily.
  • Expose him to the body of Christ, large and small.  Different styles of church, ministry, missions, and serving.  I want to cultivate a love for the Lord in our home and a joy for serving others.
  • Pray daily - I don't think I can say this enough.  Prayer is a struggle for me.

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