silence

It's been eerily quiet around here lately.
Our summer vacation kicked off and now struggle to find words.
Writing about my struggles with school is easy.
Talking about exhaustion is understandable.
Keeping up my journey to a half marathon is mundane.

But school is done.
I'm still exhausted.
Struggling.
Holding on.

Silence sets in.

Why is it that as humans we feel the need to do this alone?
To struggle in silence, not letting people know we need a hug or encouraging word.
This isn't the way that our Comforter intended it to be.

Through the pain in my heart I struggle to see the promise for me.
Sure, others are worthy of blessings and having their prayers be answered.
But me, why me?

So today, I am here admitting that I am struggling through motherhood, life as married college students, seeing how God would want to bless our undeserving family.  If I'm going to be honest, having a completely unnecessary pity party.  My God is mighty and just.  He sees our needs.  He hears our prayers.  And in this season of struggle and being completely humbled, I am holding onto Him, knowing that I am right where He wants me to be.  Struggling with my prideful and discontent heart.  And through tears I say thank you.