On March 2, 2013 I went to a class that was the conclusion of a four week study I attended at our church, Foundations of Freedom. It was life changing for me. No, I'm not perfect. No, I don't feel fixed. But I feel free and I can simply feel again. I feel connected to God in a way I don't think I ever have. This is a excerpt from my journal that day:
On the way to Telos {greek word for it is finished} He gave me Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, O Lord, your hear my voice; in the morning I lay my request before you and I wait in expectation."
During the salt water cleansing He gave me Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." I am not blameless, I am a sinner in need of a Savior. My Savior is big enough for me. Nothing I do can or will make Him bigger or me better."
As this prayer was read I wept: " Father, I repent of agreeing with the voice of shame and believing the lies that I am evil, different than others, dirty and unworthy. I come to you face to face and repent of trying to hide myself from you and others. repent for not believing that the blood of Jesus is enough and that it cleanses me from all sins and all the shame of the past. I repent for not believing what your word says about me. Thank you Father for transforming me today, for removing the veil and letting me see myself, transformed and glorious in you. In Jesus name, amen."
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